I’d like to talk to the president

Hello, this is the White House, this call may be recorded for monitoring purposes.

Hello White House I’d like to talk to the President.

We’re sorry but the president is not able to take your call. But you can leave a message.

Okay, let me leave a message – ah, Please don’t send any more Presidential Alerts to my cell phone.

This Presidental Alert is only a test. Like Conelrad. If it had been an actual emergency, you would have received important messages for your own safety.

The Tweets are bad enough, but this is ten times worse.

Twitter gives the president the opportunity to directly address real Americans without censorship by the fake news media. The Presidential Alert allows him to effortlessly remind you that he is president and can do whatever the hell he wants.

Listen I was born at night but it wasn’t last night. I know why the book Woodward books is called  Fear. Cause that what he thinks power is.

You’re pretty tough when you on the other side of the telephone.

Your pretty tough with that fake voice. I was just as tough at Mindy’s when you tried to cut in front of me for the coffee back when Koch was mayor and you were sucking up a trust fund.

Times up loser.

I also saw your father’s tax returns last night.

Have a nice day and make America Great again.

Make America Native Again.

Sianora Snowflake.

Take your Presidential Alert and shove it.

Rudy, ya got a make on this guy?